15 Hilarious Stories About Dads, Newborn Babies, And The Emergency Room

“Walked out for a smoke and never came back”

We all know that age old story of a wife cheating on her husband, mistakenly becoming pregnant, pretending the kid is her husband’s, and ending up having a baby that is the spitting image of her next door neighbor. Strangely enough, nurses on Reddit are confirming that this actually happens – along with a lot of other cases of confusion in the delivery room…

1. Schrodinger’s baby

“I had one woman that refused to push when she was fully dilated. I asked everyone to get out of the room so I could do an examination and while we were alone asked her why she wasn’t wanting to push out the baby. She was afraid the baby was going to be black. Both her and her husband were white.” MADDwife

via: auntyacid

2. It’s best to be prepared!

“When I went to the hospital in labor with my first child, the front desk stalled my husband with some paperwork while they took me up to the L&D floor. Since we’d pre-registered, we were a little confused. Once I was alone with a nurse, she asked very seriously if I wanted my husband to be allowed up or if there was someone else I wanted them to call. It was a small rural town and apparently “my husband isn’t the  father” was common enough that they had a procedure in place.” LininOhio

via: auntyacid

3. A balancing act

“I’ve had a few patients who had 2 potential baby daddys. One who was cheating on her husband and he didn’t know, but the boyfriend would come visit after the husband went home. And one who had 2 men with her in the delivery room waiting to see if the baby looked more like one or the other.” FiftySixer

via: auntyacid

4. Code Yellow!

“My wife is a nurse, not in L&D though. In her hospital, I’m sure in others too, when a baby is born a sound goes off throughout the entire hospital. A chime or something. All the women go “aaaawwwww.” She says on very rare occasions you will hear that chime and within 5-10 minutes after you hear over the intercom a call for a code yellow (or whatever color it is) in L&D. That means a fight is occurring or some type of physical rampage and for any well built male to come help with the situation. Maybe a coincidence. But probably not.” TheLegend5

via: auntyacid

5. Surprising skin colours

“A lot of fathers have never seen a newborn before and most of them look alike. Experienced nurses can tell at a glance, usually, if a baby is a different race from the father. Most of the time, they are so stoked from the birth process that they aren’t even noticing any differences.  Although, I do get a lot of black fathers exclaiming that their baby is white at birth. Is this a thing?

I had 2 grandmas ask me ” is it normal for the baby to be this color?” I had not looked at the baby yet and told them all babies are a little blue at birth. Then I noticed the baby was black. Married mom and dad were white, and this baby was going to be a junior. They were still acting as if nothing was out of sorts when they were discharged a day or two later.

Oh, and another story, there are recessive genes as well. I have friends who are a mixed couple and their last child was white, red-haired, not albino looking. Looked Irish. No fooling around involved.” snafu-40

via: auntyacid

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