Relationships. Who in the freakin’ heck invented these things, and where are they so that I can jam their head on a stick?
Everyone in one wants to be out of there. Everybody who’s not in one wants nothing more than to be in one!
Then everybody else is just happy the way that they are. That’s right, both of you.
Whatever your relationship experience, we think we’ve found some tweets that you can really relate to.
Whether you’re 25 years married and love each other (most of the time), dating for three years and hate one another’s guts, or you’ve been chewed up and spat out by some idiot who doesn’t deserve you, here we go.
Take it from the wise old sages of the internet, and ask yourself, what’s love but a sweet old fashioned notion?
1. Has there ever been a truer word spoken?
Then you throw that ugly fish right back to the bottom of the sea for some other poor fool to catch!
2. Don’t we all!
I mean seriously, what else are boyfriends for? Who wants to have to actually wake up properly to get coffee? Nobody, that’s who!
3. Make sure your boyfriend stays in shape
That way when you finally kill him, his body won’t be as heavy to haul around and get rid of!
4. Yikes, this girl speaks the goodness forsaken truth!
There’s a special place in hell for catcallers. The only real cats there are tigers. Everyone else is naked with fresh streaks duct taped to them.
5. You always say the funniest things when there’s nobody around to hear them
I guess that’s the good thing about Twitter, there’s ALWAYS somebody around to hear your snarky comments! See, you don’t need a boyfriend!
6. This is so funny!
Do you see what she did there? It seems like she means the kitten, and then… you got it, right?
7. You’ve got to find out one way or another, champ
So your wife has a boyfriend, there are plenty of happy people in open relationships! Your wife, for one person.
8. Office romances never last for long
If your ex wants you to be part of their professional network, I think we all know who broke up with who there.
9. If a tree falls in the woods and there’s nobody around to hear it, does it still make a sound?
Sure does. This guy’s band play in empty rooms all the time and they make a freakin’ TERRIBLE sound.
10. We all forget just how good the single life treats us sometimes
But don’t we all want somebody to love? You know, somebody who pushes off and lets us do whatever we want from time to time… then comes back.
11. We’re all just one big bubbling hot mess, people!
What the heck else is a relationship all about if it’s not just two people rubbing each other up the wrong way until the static electricity kills ’em both?
12. Now this is some sound advice
I think the power of rage alone would power me on through for centuries!
13. How do you forget to turn off the light? Surely the bright room you can see in gives it away
On the other hand, it sure is handy that you’ve got somebody around to take care of admin like this for you.
14. Guys, you KNOW that girls talk, get over it!
Guys on the other hand couldn’t keep a straight face knowing information like this about a girl!
15. It’s times like these that you know romance isn’t dead
In years to come and he looks across the room and you’re STILL sharpening that butcher’s knife and smiling, he’ll feel exactly the same.
16. You have to admit, the girl has a point
Minnie should be slobbing around in her onesie with her unwashed hair down by now, not in that cute little dress with a bow on her head.
17. We have all been there in our lives
I think the word you’re searching for there is ‘imaginary’.
18. Oh my, the bluntness is just hilarious
This lady is cracking me the heck up!
19. I should definitely try this
Sounds relaxing, but maybe not all that sexy.
20. See? Romance is definitely NOT dead!
With a catch like this out in the wild, there’s somebody for everyone!
21. Oh my goodness me, the sass is real strong with this one
The accuracy, the sheer accuracy! I’m freakin’ dying here!
I’m pretty sure these people have all nailed it, but did one really apply to your love life? Let us know with a COMMENT and don’t forget to SHARE this article if you enjoyed it.