Yes folks, roll up as we take another trip to that great American tradition, your local Walmart!
You can be sure that on every visit you’ll find exactly what you were looking for… and probably a whole bunch of stuff you weren’t bargaining for too!
There’s just something about that place that makes everyone… well, I was gonna say ‘go crazy’ but that’s not really true.
People think they can be themselves in Walmart. That they can just wear whatever they stole off their neighbors’ washing line and stroll around the place.
Saying that Walmart makes people GO crazy would mean these folks were sane in the first place.
But for the rest of us normal people, here is a bunch of stuff we would NOT like to see while buying our groceries.
1. The King is not dead, he just went home… to Walmart
He’s probably buying donuts, bananas, peanut butter and bacon to make those famous sammiches of his!
2. If you think your outfit for the day might be a little too tight and revealing…
Go out and give it a road test! You’ll find that folks are very accommodating. If they start to stare like this, then you know it was a mistake! Simple!
3. Howdy cowboy!
Those shorts sure are tight, but cowboys famously can’t resist the sale of plums for 98 cents per pound!
4. When sleepiness strikes, it doesn’t matter where you are, it’s time to hit the hay
Walmart have got your back for when those six beers you drank before lunch start to kick in.
5. Wow, this just keeps getting weirder as you go down
And then… holy cow, there’s a snake in my boots!
6. It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing a full outfit or not, Walmart will still welcome you!
So if you ripped most of you clothes on razor wire on the way to the store, never mind!
7. This guy will grant you three wishes
Except for if the first wish is to never, ever see him again. Or if it’s to take off those boots. He likes those.
8. There’s a saying around here: If you can still feel your feet, friend, you ain’t drunk
This guy is just testing out that theory, that’s all!
9. If I was out in the woods and it was a choice between meeting a real bear and this guy… I know what I would choose
You definitely do not want to see this if you just ran into the store for some milk.
10. Which way to the pet food aisle?
I take it the food that guy eats has to still be alive? I thought so.
11. If you do take a trip to Walmart, chances are you’ll at least see somebody’s underwear
Hey, just be thankful it wasn’t their bare butt!
12. Get a load of this clown…
No dude, I will not put my left hand on the yellow spot. Ask me that again and you’ll get my right foot straight to the red spot.
13. You definitely don’t want to have to decide whether somebody’s outfit is fancy dress or not
Or a dare… or a bet… or if they got dressed in the dark. Those are decisions you just don’t need in your life at the grocery store.
14. Imagine looking up from your list of groceries and seeing these two jokers
Nope, I’ve just decided my cat doesn’t need litter right now, she can wait until next week!
15. Now don’t you feel lucky you only saw that lady’s underwear earlier?
Dang, that has just GOT to be breezy, right?
16. Sorry ma’am, no returns or refunds
I don’t care HOW stuck on your head it is, you can’t return an item in that condition!
17. Call it a strange kind of intuition, but something tells me this guy really likes Pabst Blue Ribbon
Do you ever get strange vibes like that? You do? Crazy, right! Oh wait, in Walmart? Yeah those vibes are pretty common there.
18. That is one serious case of VPL
If you’ve ever felt conscious about your panties showing, just think back to the day you saw this lady, and how little of a cr*p she gives.
19. The giant battery on her head really sets off this lady’s outfit
Sure, the rest doesn’t leave much to the imagination but… wait, that’s not a hat?
20. Point and laugh all you want, but this guy isn’t getting brainwashed any time soon
Have fun when the aliens abduct you and probe you in glass tubes, suckers!
21. If this was the scene in the parking lot, I’d turn around and drive away
That lady is really putting her heart and soul into changing those windshield wipers.
22. Clean up in aisle three!
And because it’s Walmart, you know that could be anything. ANYTHING!
23. Do you think this person has called into Walmart for more duct tape?
It’s just a hunch I guess.
Which one was your favorite? Let us know with a COMMENT and don’t forget to SHARE this article if you enjoyed it!