If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that coffee is life. If you don’t agree that coffee is life, then get the heck out of my life!
Whoever invented it must be some kind of genius. I wish I knew who it was, I would have their picture on my walls. Maybe build a little shrine to them. Pray to it every night. Nothing TOO weird.
Anyway, my love of coffee got me to thinking, what are the signs that I’m a bit of an addict?
There must be a whole bunch of stuff that brings us all together, that we can all agree makes a bona fide coffee lover.
So I got out my coffee smelling notebook, broke out my coffee themed pencil and put on a pot to brew of course, and came up with these things!
1. Everyone knows that Mondays suck, and the only thing that improves them is coffee
Actually, it’s more like the only thing that even makes Mondays bearable is coffee!
2. The first thing that comes to your mind in the morning is how to get your coffee
If somebody can bring it to you, that’s a bonus. What am I talking about, that’s not a bonus, that’s a freakin’ objective!
3. When you yawn, everyone knows what to do
They hand you a freakin’ coffee before you start swinging, that’s what to do!
4. Everyone can tell if you had your morning cup of coffee
Or more to the point, everyone can tell if you HAVEN’T had your morning cup of coffee yet! That’s way easier to tell!
5. Everyone knows to handle differently you when you’ve drunk your coffee compared to when you haven’t
If you haven’t, it’s mostly like an angry tiger wearing slippers. So they handle you with kid gloves, on the end of a very long stick.
6. Your mug collection is like the work on the walls of an art gallery
How many is too many? Fifty? A hundred? If you answered ‘yes’ to either of these so far, then get the heck out of my coffee mug museum… I mean, house!
7. Coffee even defines your love life
If somebody brings you coffee, you love them! If they don’t, they’re just about freakin’ dead to you.
8. Okay, so you do love certain people more than coffee
But only a little. And you should never be asked to prove it!
9. You’re pretty sure that coffee gives you super powers
The super power of tolerating freakin’ idiots for a start!
10. In reality, it just gives you the ILLUSION that you have superpowers
It makes it feel like you can achieve anything! You can do all that stuff your boss gave you! You can do all of the housework! Sure, you can TOTALLY look after your sisters’ kids tonight!
11. You can’t work without it
Oh man, saying yes to all of that stuff was SUCH a big mistake, especially when you dip into that low point between coffees!
12. It’s something you take very seriously indeed
If there was a step up from ‘connoisseur’, that would be you.
13. You’re more than willing to try coffee in new bizarro new ways
Coffee with chili? Sure! Coffee while skydiving? Okay! Coffee during a fight with Godzilla? As long as there’s coffee involved, I’m right there!
14. If it was possible you would bathe in the stuff
That isn’t a thing yet is it? Just checking. Got to keep on top of these things.
15. Coffee is more than just a drink
It’s a way of life!
If you’re a total coffee addict, let me know all about it with a COMMENT and don’t forget to SHARE my article with like-minded friends.